


Marin the Trickster

by Jedi_in_the_TARDIS



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Genre: Fluff, Fun, Gen, No Plot/Plotless, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22162048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jedi_in_the_TARDIS/pseuds/Jedi_in_the_TARDIS
Summary: Link and Marin decide to prank an evil ambassador right out of Hyrule.
Relationships: Link/Marin (Legend of Zelda), Link/Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Zelda/Marin (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Marin the Trickster

Zelda was bored out of her skull.

“And of course, this connection between Hyrule and Koridai would be excellent for both our kingdom’s economies, given the wonderful production of goods in Koridai-“

The inside of Zelda’s head was a constant stream of various moans and groans, lots of Uuuuuuuuuuuuughs and such. The ambassador from Koridai was filibustering. The unpleasant-looking well-dressed man was going on and on, trying to outlast everyone else in the room. At any point, Zelda could tap out, but then the current situation would stand-Hyrule would continue to trade with and assist Koridai.

Zelda was in favor of completely cutting off all aid to Koridai until such a time as Koridai stopped assisting in the slave trade. She wasn’t about to budge on this, hence the ambassador’s last-ditch attempt.

Goddess-damned Cucko-faced sack of Moblin Dung. Ganon-damned Cuckoo-butt-faced sack of Moblin vomit. Yes, that’s better. She amused herself by coming up with the worst insults she could for him while still keeping her face neutral. 

A high pitched-shrill giggling sound echoed throughout the room, muffled away as quickly as it had started.

Impa placed a hand on her spear, eyes darting around nervously.

“It’s fine.” Link said, without changing positions from behind Zelda, where he was leaning back in his seat, his feet on the back edge of Zelda’s chair, his hands behind his head, on his weird hat. Impa had complained about him consistently taking up that position, but he had proven that he could defend Zelda from anyone in the room even from that awkward position. “That’s not a Poe or a Wizzro. That’s probably just the maid’s daughter or something. Please, continue, Mr. Ambassador, Sir.”

Zelda fought to suppress a grin. Link could have used this as an excuse to get the ambassador to stop talking, if he had wanted to. But he hadn’t. That meant he was up to something.

“Right.” The ambassador said. “As I was saying-“

Bokoblin-faced bucket of runny, messy Keese poop.

Zelda felt, at the very edge of her perception, something rustling past her leg hair. She strained her ears, and could hear, very faintly, a persistent rustling coming from all around her.

A minute later, the Ambassador froze mid-sentence. Then, sand exploded into his collar, into his sleeves, into every pore of his clothing, moving upwards from the floor.

Zelda kept her gaze off of Link. She had no idea how he fit all of his weapons and magical items in his belt, but hopefully he could keep the sand rod hidden.

“Ambassador,” Zelda prompted, “Do you need to take a second to change? You seem to be rather soiled.”

“It-‘tis nothing!” He said. “Nothing will interrupt my pitch! Now, as I was saying-“

Zelda actually listened for the first minute before dismissing it all as bullbo-crap.

You, sir, have the charm of a Redead and the tact of Kokiri child. No, Kokiri were mythical but they still had to be more tactful than him. The tact of a Poe.

Come to think of it, the giggling didn’t seem to come from the hallway, where it would be if it was a maid’s child. Link couldn’t have manufactured that giggle, could he? He couldn’t throw his voice or make it that high pitched…

Her thoughts were interrupted by extremely soft music. As if by coincidence, a small storm cloud appeared above the ambassador, and dumped rain onto him.

Zelda kept her face completely calm, although she was roaring with laughter internally. One of her guards gave a brief snicker before stifling it. Zelda could feel the scathing glare Impa shot him.

“And Hyrule, of course, has a rich population of Zoras-“ The ambassador spoke up to be heard over the miniature rainstorm, which was over almost as soon as it had begun, leaving the ambassador covered in mud, mud that was perfectly crated to be extremely sticky.

“And furthermore-“ The ambassador did not stop, and Zelda gave him some credit for that.

He still keeps slaves. Zelda reminded herself. The Bokoblin-nosed piece of Agahnim Dandruff…

Come to think of it, Link didn’t even have his ocarina, he didn’t generally take it anywhere He couldn’t have played the song of storms, certainly not without anyone seeing him take it out-

The trickle of bright yellow birdseed was slow enough that it was almost imperceptible. Zelda glanced up and spotted the tiny hole in the celling where it was being dropped down. It began to stick itself onto the ambassador’s mud-caked head.

Zelda’s eyes widened in spite of herself. She found herself practically sitting on the edge of her seat with anticipation, waiting for the finale to begin.

The ambassador became more animated, speaking lively, wrongly gathering that Zelda was actually interested.

Logically, Zelda figured, the best way to slip something big into the room would be through the ceiling tile, or maybe even by cracking the door open.

She did not expect a Cuccoo to be chucked in through the window.

The ninth story window.

Of the tower.

There was literally nowhere outside that window for anyone to stand.

Everyone in the room stared at the Cuccoo. The guards all drew their weapons, but none of them dared to attack. They had all heard the stories.

The ambassador continued, unwilling to be deterred. “And furthermore, Hyrule is a land rich with people to join our labor force-“

“Ba-kawk.” The Cuccoo looked around the room, as though he owned the place. His eyes fell onto the ambassador. He cocked his head.

Everyone in the room held their breath, except for the ambassador, who droned on, completely incapable of reading the room.

It happened when the ambassador was in the middle of talking, his hands outstretched; the Cuccoo leapt up, flapping, and pecked at his face.

“Ah!” The ambassador shouted. “Foul beast!” He smacked the Cuccoo. The crisp SMACK echoed through the room, and everyone winced, except Link, who remained in the same position, smirking ever-so-slightly.

“Dispense with this creature!” The ambassador shouted, staring at the nearest guard. “Skewer it! What the hell is wrong with all of you?” He grabbed the guard’s lance and stabbed it into the Cuccoo before anyone could stop him.

Zelda watched, in silent, invisible glee, as the spear grazed the very edge of the Cucco’s wing, scattering a few feathers and drawing blood. The spear embedded itself in the table. The ambassador stared at the still-living Cuccoo, seething at his miss.

The Cucco’s war cry was ear-splitting.

There was a crash as Cuccoos warped time and space to burst from the formerly-tiny hole in the celling, debris raining down along with half a dozen foul-tempered fowl. To her complete, utter, and total bewilderment, Cuccoos flew in the open window en masse, at least a dozen of them pecking off birdseed, mud, and skin from the ambassador.

The ambassador’s scream was shrill, ear-piercing, and drowned out under the war cry of a thousand vengeful Cuccoos. He ran from the room, covering his head. The Cuccos followed him, leaving only feathers, stunned silence, and a single pile of chicken poop in their wake.

The silence held out in astonishment, the faint cries of Cuccoos echoing down the hall.

“You,” Zelda said, pointing to one of her guards, “Go find him and make sure he doesn’t die. You go find a healer and get them to him as soon as possible.”

The two guards darted out.

“The ambassador has yielded the floor,” Zelda said, “So I am going to take this opportunity to propose complete rejection of Koridai’s terms until such a time as the practice of slavery is completely, totally, and utterly outlawed in their country. Any objections?”

Zelda took a moment to be proud that her advisors were all not horrible people.

“Then this meeting is adjourned.” Zelda said, standing up. Everyone else in the room did so, and a merry babble of laughter and conversation consumed the room, the tension in the room dissolving in a heartbeat.

Impa shot a glance at Link, who had still not moved, his smirk now a flat-out knowing grin. She rolled her eyes, and walked out, making the effort to not investigate the happenings.

Zelda waited a few minutes until the room cleared. The moment she and Link were alone, Link burst into laughter, falling off his chair as he did so. His hat clattered off of his head, the sand rod clattering out of his hat. 

“There’s one piece of the puzzle.” Zelda said, “But how did you manage the rest of it? Where’s your accomplice?”

As if on cue, there was the sound of metal clinking, and then, harnessed into some ropes, wielding the hookshot, Main swung into the room, flower still perfectly kept up in her hair, eyes glinting, smile broad.

“Marin?” Zelda’s jaw dropped. “How-?”

At Zelda’s incredulousness, Marin and Link both burst into laughter again. Zelda permitted herself to join them, the laughter a good contrast to her anxiety over the ambassador, her laughter renewing itself by seeing how utterly paralyzed by laughter Link and Marin where.

“Okay, okay.” Marin said, getting to her feet. “Do you have a chalkboard or something we can explain this with?”

“I got it.” Link said, getting to his feet. “I’ve been looking forward to this. Okay, Zelda. So, yesterday, we took a bag of sand up here and poured it into the cracks in the floor, using the sand rod to shift them down.”

“I suggested breaking one of the tiles,” Marin said with a frown, “But according to Link, we don’t want to cause any actual property damage.”

“As it turns out, Marin’s been hiding in ceilings since she first moved into the castle.”

“You can hide in the ceilings?” Zelda said. “That sounds like a huge security risk. What if someone other than you got in there?”

“Trust me, no assassin would be able to navigate the ceiling tiles without me. So many of them won’t support their weight. If anyone tired, they’d be crashed on the floor in an instant. I wouldn’t put my own personal enjoyment above your safety, Zel.”

“We set up the birdseed with a spell that would only be triggered by the song of storms.” Link said. “That was the hardest part, by far.”

“You threw a Cuccoo in through the window!” Zelda declared, incredulous. “The ninth story window!”

“I prefer to think that I defenestrated the Cuccoo.” Marin frowned. “Refenestrated? Maybe?”

“Yeah, I insisted we use a climbing harness for that.” Link said. “The rope’s quite sturdy. The hookshot helps her grapple up and down easily. And there ya go.”

“So, you did all of this on the off chance that he ambassador filibustered me?” Zelda said.

“Yeah.” Link said. “I’m your bodyguard, Zelda. I consider my duty covers your mental and emotional well-being as well as your physical one.”

“Yes!” Marin said. “It is our duty to aid you and protect you! And Hyrule!”

“Plus it was fun?” Zelda offered.

Marin beamed.

“Marin, I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you a position. How does royal adviser sound?”

“Royal songstress would make sense.” Link offered.

“Oh, yeah!” Marin said. “Songstress by daylight, secret agent by twilight!” She began to sing an impromptu theme song, to the amusement of Link and Zelda.

**Author's Note:**

> From my (admittedly very limited) perspective, Marin does not have the reputation as a prankster, and I want to postulate that she should. I think if we got to see more of her in other environments (especially in a slice-of-life comedy sort of thing) she'd hide being mischievous under her cutesy/innocent facade.
> 
> This is my first time posting, so any comments/critiques would be much appreciated.


End file.
